So on Wednesday I'm supposed to be going to dinner with Secret Lover, Appletini, and Bre right? Remember? Awesome. Okay, so they had suggested I ask Duffy to go, and I figured "Eh, why not?" so I called her just now:
Me: Hellooooooooooooo
Her: Hi (or something)
M: blah blah blah blah blah
H: bob loblaw lobs law bomb
>3 minutes later<
M: So what are you doing on Wednesday...are you working?
H: Wednesday, um, no. Or, well, I work in the morning
M: Oh, do you want to be my date that night?
H: Sure. Or, well, perhaps, my cousin has something that we're supposed to go to, but I don't really know.
*Okay, so she said sure immediately to my very open ended question of "want to be my date?" I'd just like to present that as evidence that she IS indeed interested, right?*
M: Oh, ok. Well, here's the deal: My two friends and I decided to take our other friend to Cheesecake Factory as a graduation gift. Long story short, it became this whole big thing, and now Appletini and Bre are bringing their fiancees and Secret Lover is bringing her boyfriend, so now I need a date.
H: Oh yeah, ok, well, I'll find out about my cousin's thing and let you know.
M: Okay, cool, I'll let you go walk your dog then I guess.
H: Byeeee
M: Byeeee
Thoughts? That sounds more receptive to me, but what do you (two) think?
"Hope springs eternal in the human breast"
-Alexander Pope,
An Essay on Man, Epistle I
(this quote is funny because duffy has big'uns that are hopeful)
Monday, December 17, 2007
Duffy X
Grade Update
BIO 202 Human Anat/Physiology II A 4.00
EXW 325 Fitness for Life A- 3.00
HHS 302 Evidence-Based Complementary H A 3.00
HHS 405 Seminar in Holistic Health A+ 3.00
JAC 1 Joint Admission Continuous Enr 1.00
NTR 348 Cultural Aspects of Food B+ 3.00
So that's everything except the JAC. JAC = Chemistry lab from chandler gilbert community college. That grade has to be transferred over, so that's why it's taking so long to post. I'm worried. Expecting a C or D honestly.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
Fair Warning: I've decided to use more nicknames and aliases, in order to protect people.
Okay, so on Wednesday night I'm going to dinner. Originally it was
Secret Lover, Appletini, and I taking Bre out to Cheesecake Factory to celebrate Breanna having graduated this semester. We ended up telling Bre to invite her fiancee Jason, which of course opened up Appletini to invite HER fiancee Big Tom. Then, somehow Secret Lover's boyfriend Mike heard about the dinner, and he wants to go, so he is too. So that's Appletini and Big Tom, Bre and Jason, Secret Lover and Mike, and me. They told me to bring someone, and they all suggested Duffy, but that seems a little weird to me for some reason. Then I was thinking Erin, but she'd probably be uncomfortable. Then I was thinking Adam, but I'd much rather bring a girl. Maybe Madame Butterfly. I fuckin' love Madame Butterfly. She is in the choir, and is just begging to be corrupted. That's sort of gross, but it's totally 100% fucking true. I may make a longer entry about her and Adam and all the hilarity therein some other day maybe. She'd be awkward to bring to the dinner though. Maybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...hell, I don't know. Someone throw me a line here.
“The lonely one offers his hand too quickly to whomever he encounters”
-Friedrich Nietzsche
Perceptions
I wonder how far the power of perception really extends. I seem to enjoy life because of the way that I take it. I do my best to let things go that need to be let go, and I try not to focus on the negative aspect of a situation (as all situations are both positive and negative, of course). For instance, I was just talking to Ash Ash last night about my broken ankle, sort of. I used to hate the broken ankle, for derailing me, and for being the catalyst of weight gain, and for a number of other things. However, when I adjusted myself it occurred to me that I'm where I am now due to having broken the ankle. I mean, had I not ever broken my ankle I would have probably finished school as a kinesiologist and what the hell good would that have been? I mean, I love athletes, but is that really what I want to do? Study how people run and build better shoes? Examine range of motion and develop various pieces of exercise equipment? This seems fun, but unimportant to me. I needed the year off. I needed to be grounded. Now I'm on my way to a place that I know I want to be. My future doesn't worry me, and neither does my past.
"Far away
I don't care where, just far away
I don't care where, just far away
I don't care where, just far away
I don't care"
Be Quiet And Drive (Far Away) by Deftones
Saturday, December 15, 2007
jeremy's blog
http://jeremygillitzer.blogspot.com/
in case you want to hear what he had to say about all sorts of stuff before he was taken by the officials
Jeremy Gillitzer
I read about Jeremy on http://www.queerty.com a while back, and was intrigued because he used to look pretty dope before he got into anorexia and bulimia, and the difference was disturbing. Well, I guess he is being held largely against his will now for treatment (he is obviously not of a right mind). I'm not sure where I stand on this. I'm very big into ownership of the body and the self, and this may be infringing on what I consider to be his rights. But he may be vulnerable to himself, so it's hard to say really. I think it's better that he is there now, but I'm not sure that I like the way that he ended up there.
interview about the whole deal @ http://www.queerty.com/health/jeremys-journey-continues-20071214/1/
BEFORE
AFTER
Friday, December 14, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Duffy VIII
So I was supposed to hang out with the duffster last night, but she had to open this morning, so we decided not to. Instead, we went to lunch today when she got off of work. So I drove there and picked her up and we went to Oregano's, which is always delightful. I got a big slice of pizza (thin crust cheese) and a little salad (Oregano's Favorite Jr.) that I ended up taking home. She got Alfredo the Dark which is like macaroni with a Poblano cream sauce, and shrimp. It was actually pretty good. I think it went alright, but it's hard to tell. I mean, it was lunch for Christ's sake. How sexy can lunch even BE? The answer is not very. Not very at all. However, I think that we are going to go see Juno tomorrow night, which could be VERY sexy. It's still hard to say though. I need to buy more of that Curve Soul cologne that she likes, but I'm not sure if they still make it or not. Anyways, on Friday, I may even HOLD HER HAND. Thaaaaaat's right. Take it in. Let it engulf your loins. You're hot. You're hot and you don't even know it.
"I'm hot cause I'm fly
You ain't cause you not
This is why
This is why
This is why I'm hot"
This Is Why I'm Hot by MIMS
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Strange Strange Time
Sometimes I like to fantasize about not eating. At all. For long periods of time, like political statement long. Just let myself whither away. Muscle. Fat. Skin. Hair. Nails. Teeth. Let it all beg for salvation. But just let it all die. I don't think that I'D die this way, rather, I think I see it as a rebirth. A way to shed all the muscle that reminds me how strong I USED to be, and the skin that reminds me how clear it USED to be, and the fat that reminds me just how fat I AM. A way to put a pile of plates in the ground and cover it in dirt. A way to grow daisies with memories, instead of dreams. Are pain and results directly proportional? They just might be. I'm sure that all things worthwhile are painful, but I'm not yet positive that the most worthwhile are also the most painful. Is there any way else that I could be? I don't think so. So for the ultimate birth, I guess I'd be needing the ultimate death.
"Give me love
Give me love
Give me peace on earth
Give me light
Give me life
Keep me free from birth
Give me hope
Help me cope, with this heavy load
Trying to, touch and reach you with,
heart and soul
O(h)m my Lord...
Please take hold of my hand, that
I might understand you
Won't you please
Oh won't you"
Give Me Love by George Harrison
I sometimes wish that I could flit in and out of people's lives unquestioned. That I was able to be there for a moment, make an impact, and then float away secretly lonely. This seems impossible though, as the more that I make myself emotionally available, the more people realize how few people are willing to do this. This realization is followed usually by an immense request. That's okay, that's why I'm here. But how great would it be to be KNOWN for being absent all the time except when you need it most? Would people demand less, but expect more? I'd love that, I think.
"I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping
Still my guitar gently weeps
I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love
I don't know how someone controlled you
They bought and sold you.
I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps
I don't know how you were diverted
You were perverted too
I don't know how you were inverted
No one alerted you.
I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
Look at you all . . .
Still my guitar gently weeps."
While My Guitar Gently Weeps by George Harrison
I rarely get overwhelmed, but sometimes I feel like giving up. It seems so silly to me that nothing bad happens to ME, but instead to all of the people in my life. Is this an indication that the universe really does revolve around me? I had a decent upbringing, never really wanting much more than I got. I wasn't abused or lied to. I didn't make any major mistakes, and I wasn't the victim of someone else's. I haven't wasted love, and I realize how big that is. So why don't I have cancer? Why aren't I addicted? Why haven't I lost the love of my life? What's the deal? Is this all build up until the major event that will truly destroy me? When it gets to be too much, I like to think that I have a strategy, but it mostly involves trying not to cry, even if I'm sitting alone.
"Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby
Golden slumbers fill your eyes
Smiles awake you when you rise
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby
Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby"
Golden Slumbers by The Beatles
I really like when sitcoms have dramatic episodes. For instance, I love the episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air when Will's dad shows up and gets back into Will's heart, only to break it again at the end. In all honesty, and at the risk of sounding like a geek, this was the episode that proved Will Smith's acting ability. At the end, he breaks down, and everytime I watch it, I still secretly cry. The only thing that has changed since the first time that I saw it is that if I'm alone I'm not ashamed to cry. The series finale of Roseanne is also excellent. In the last season or so, the show gets really weird. They win the lottery, Roseanne/Jackie's mom comes out as a lesbian, Dan has a heart attack, Jackie starts dating the Prince of Moldavia, Dan cheats on Roseanne, Darlene and David's baby is delivered premature and is supposed to die but lives. So anyways, it sounded really like the show had jumped the shark, but the last episode reveals that the season was a creation of the character of Roseanne, who took up writing as a coping strategy after Dan's heart attack, which he actually died from. The rest of the season is basically her way of running away or fantasizing, which is why so much great stuff happened. What really happened is: Jackie is a lesbian, her mother is not, Dan died from his heart attack, Darlene's baby (with Mark, not David) was delivered premature and somehow survived, Becky had gotten together with David, and Roseanne had begun writing. Anyways, in the series finale, when she exposes all of this, she comes to the point of telling about Dan dying and she almost starts crying, and I almost do as well. There was also an earlier episode I think where Dan's dad dies or something, and Dan cries, and it's pretty hard for me to watch as well. Now that I think about it, there was another episode of Fresh Prince that makes me cry, but I can't remember what it was. There was an episode of Scrubs that did as well, but I can't quite remember it well enough at this point to talk about it. Maybe I'll make a post of the things that have made me cry in my life. I can probably remember just about all of them. Here's a teaser: Fresh Prince, Roseanne, Julee, Paul, Magnolia, Armageddon, About Schmidt, Castaway, and some other stuff as well.
"Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind,
Possessing and caressing me.
Jai guru deva, om,
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes,
They call me on and on across the universe,
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make their way
Across the universe
Jai guru deva, om,
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing
Through my opened ears inciting and inviting me
Limitless undying Love which shines around me like a
million suns, It calls me on and on
Across the universe
Jai guru deva, om,
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Jai guru deva
Jai guru deva
Jai guru deva
Jai guru deva"
Across the Universe by The Beatles
