Locate and Love

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Roadrunner II

I've spoken with her a few more times. I usually stop her after class and talk to her for a few minutes. She called me on Friday to ask if I wanted to go hiking with her and some other people on Saturday. I told her that I had to work so that I would not be able to go. She sounded abnormally distraught about this, which was actually sort of weird, and she asked about the next Saturday. I wasn't on the schedule for the next Saturday, so she suggested I go on a long run with her. That would have been fine, except that she wasn't kidding about the long part. She wanted to do 9 miles. Not impossible or anything, just something that I wasn't excited to do yet. She mentioned that maybe we could hike instead, which sounded way better to me.

Anyways, so then I stopped her after class yesterday and gave her a brochure for the Skirtchaser 5k (http://www.skirtchaser5k.com/) and talked to her a little about Saturday. I, for some reason or another, suggested that we run Peralta Trail, which is a decent 6.5 mile hike. She sounded sort of scared, but maybe up to it. Whatever though, it's all good. I really cannot get a good read on this girl. I think that she might just be really nice, but it'd be pretty dope if she wanted to go out. I think that I'm going to see how Saturday goes, and then maybe ask her out after that.

“She laughs at everything you say. Why? Because she has fine teeth.”

-Benjamin Franklin

Ironwoman pt I

Last week I stopped by the Rural and Warner shop to pick up a jersey for Matt. He has been wanting to get back on his bike, and maybe get into triathlons again, so he wanted some new gear. Next door to the R&W store there used to be a Scottsdale Running Company, even though R&W is actually Tempe. SRCo used to be my go-to running store, because they gave me a small discount and most of the people were actually very knowledgable. When I arrived at R&W, I noticed that what once was SRCo was now called Sole Sports, so I was made to be very curious. I walked in and was greeted by Ironwoman.

She explained that SRCo was run by partners, and that when one of the partners was arrested for DUI the business exploded and the two stores broke up (there is a SRCo in Scottsdale as well, natch). So now this store was run by one of the partners (I think the one who was NOT arrested) separate of SRCo.

I had some time to kill, and I was in a good enough mood, so I decided to try some new running shoes on. I mean, my current pair are getting pretty tired, and they weren't all that great to begin with. So Ironwoman pulled out like ten different pairs of various shoes that I might like. We shot the shit while I tried them all on. She was fairly cute, and pretty cool, so I of course fall immediately in love with her. I call her Ironwoman because she is a world class triathlete. She placed 3rd among women overall at the World Triathlon Championship last year, and she has done like 3 or 4 full length Ironman Tris. My DAD describes her as "amazing."

Two days later, I decide that I might actually be able to use a new pair since, like I said, my old pair isn't the best thing ever. So I head back in to Sole, and am happy to see that Ironwoman is working. She remembers me, which is cute. She brings out about four pairs. The first one is the Asics Gel Cumulus, and this is the pair that I end up going with. I talk to her more while I'm trying on all of the pairs, and I find out that our families actually know each other. Apparently her mom used to be way into triathlon and stuff, and she used to go to my dad's shop for her gear. Blah blah blah, they had a falling out, but now they're cool. Anywho, I was at the counter, and she was ringing me up. The words were floating up into and out of my mouth when this other dude who worked there came out of nowhere and chilled out at the other register, which is like right next to her. He started talking to me, lame. So I left. I called back later to ask her out, but she had already gone home. I went back in the next day, but she wasn't working. Now what?

"The Creator has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do."

Orison Swett Marden

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Equipped to Die

I think that maybe we are equipped in weird ways to deal with life, as well as death. In life, when we encounter something too terrible to comprehend, we often don't comprehend it at all. Our brains - and sometimes our bodies - will just shut down or close off in order to avoid the trauma. This is the thinking behind fainting upon seeing something disturbing, or repressed memories in general (which most likely exist in a far different capacity than what we currently consider). Some people explain that the body or brain thinks it is dying, and so it does whatever it can to avoid death - or the pain associated with death - including running away (shutting down).

Similarly, when we die, our body has a compensation mechanism. Actually, to be more specific, when we die "naturally" according to a scheduled break down associated with aging, our bodies have a compensation mechanism. If we die slowly enough, usually our brain will go before our bodies do. This sounds terrible, especially to a person like myself who finds pride in mental facility. However, as I think about it more, maybe it's better. It's certainly harder on the people around us who have to watch us revert to a childlike mental capacity, but it must be easier to die when we don't realize it. The most disturbing horror movie villains usually let their victims know that they are going to die, and that there is nothing they can do about it. The true trauma is in the knowing. Ignorance may actually be bliss. If you don't have the wherewithal to recognize that you're in a hospital bed, maybe you don't have the wherewithal to recognize that something bad is happening to you.

Something new is occurring to me, actually. So my grandfather is in the hospital. He is a doctor. He specialized in geriatric processes, or getting old. He was always secretly afraid of getting old, and of dying. That's a tragic thought, since those things are so very inevitable. He has been in and out of the hospital a number of times in the past year due to blood toxicity as a result of his own self over medication. He grew up in the polio vaccine and penicillin age, which means that he believes a little TOO much in pharmaceuticals (all aged doctors right now probably are the same way). He would take too much, or forget that he took something and retake it, or maybe he was just using too much in general. Whatever. He was running as fast as he could from the pain of dying. But I think it has caught up with him now. He fell last week and cracked 6 ribs. He is lying in the hospital now, and looks like he might just be on his final leg. He flitted in and out of conscious conversation, dropping occasionally into half lidded stupor. Forgetting my name. Thinking I'm my father. Then he's back. Makes a joke. Gone again. Et cetera. Et Set Er Uh. Et - "And," Ceteri - "The others." And The Others. 2001 Nicole Kidman vehicle. A woman who lives in a darkened old house with her two photosensitive children becomes convinced that her family home is haunted. Terrifying secrets are revealed. Haunted. We're haunted by the ghosts of things. Regardless of logic. Things fly into and out of consciousness without our control. Things that terrify us. Things that palliate that fear. Things that are just there to remind us that they will be coming back again to scare us once more. Age doesn't just fly into and out of our haunted brains. It actually never shows up at all. It is the long shadow of the colossus killer standing one hundred miles in front of us. Too far to see her wrinkled face. But the sun is blazing behind her, and if it weren't for that hot shadow crossing your face, you'd be blinded entirely.

"Grace: So you say you know this house well?
Mrs. Mills: Like the back of my hand, that is assuming the walls haven't sprouted legs and moved in the meantime.
Grace: The only thing that moves here is the light, but it changes everything."
-The Others