Reverie and Revulsion

Becca says that I'm smitten. I might be. I must be, in fact. Is it because this is the light on the horizon of a never-ending sea? Or is it because it is the lighthouse itself? I wonder if Duffy is the direction or the destination sometimes. She seems smit-worthy, I think. Groovy. She's an individual who apologizes without sincerity for who she is only because she doesn't want to fight about it. I think that's maybe more noble than acting like what you have to say deserves to be heard all the time. She's an escapist, finding herself immersed in fake places and consequently unaware of the very real places that inspired the fictions. Is she another Julee? Someone uninitiated and young letting me take them to the room in the hospital where they were born? I'm not a doctor, but I think I know the way. I don't want to do this forever. Have I been delivered?

“Reverie is when ideas float in our mind without reflection or regard of the understanding.”
-John Locke

"To lose one's self in reverie, one must be either very happy, or very unhappy. Reverie is the child of extremes.”
-Antoine Rivarol

Duffy VII or Why Ashee Isn't the Love Doctor

So tonight was supposed to be movie night part two. Apparently we had also told Becca that we'd hang out with her. I'm tired, so here's a quick synopsis that I will expand on later:

I was supposed to pick up Duffy from her parents' house and then go to Becca's. Becca would then drive us to Pita Jungle for dinner, and then back to her house. THEN, Becca was going to go to some fashion show, and I was going to go check out Duffy's new house, and then go back to her parents' again for DVDs and TV and TnA and whatever. HOWEVER, Becca didn't go to that fashion show, and Duffy wasn't feeling too well, so we just went to Pita Jungle then back to Becca's for awhile. I took Duffy home and we swung by her new place for a quick tour as well. No go. I'm sure that last night would have been amazing had it happened.

"Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'
Streetlights people"

Don't Stop Believin' by Journey

Almost Duffy

So Ashee was chillin. We were watching Karate Cop with Louis (bext movie ever). Duffy calls and is all like "Oh, I had an idea, but nevermind," after I let Ashlee say nothing to her on my phone. I finally got her to tell me that her idea was that I go to her house and get a blow J. Nah, I'm kidding. The idea was that I go hang out with her at her house. She sounded a bit disappointed/embarrassed maybe? I'm pretty sure that i'm reading this all correctly now. She definitely sounded a little in the negative when it occurred to her that I was going to be busy. I told her that if Ashee left soon, I'd call her. Ashee stayed forever. Lol, just kidding, I don't even care. I'm gonna hang out with Duffy tomorrow instead, which will give me time to get all nice smelling, and wash some clothes.

"Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!"

Tomorrow from Annie

Plan for the Night

Ashlee's on her way over right now. We are going to go eat sushi. It's been a while since I've had sushi, actually. I mean, not like years or months, even. Weeks. But I think that considering that I only started eating sushi about 6 weeks ago, going a few weeks without it is more or less momentous. It didn't change my life. I sort of expected it to. I enjoy it, but it's all tofurkey to me. I know that there is something I'm missing. There has to be. Sushi isn't just cucumber, avacado, carrot, asaparagus, rice, and seaweed. Great brutes with their wasabi and soy sauce. Teriyaki for amerikans, even. I think that there is some sweet fish somewhere. White flesh with no bones. I have a collection of fish bones that I'm looking to get rid of.

Heroes: Blue Planet Runners

from blueplanetrun.org/run :

The Blue Planet Run covered 15,200 miles, across 16 countries and 3 continents, 24 hours a day for 95 days to deliver an extremely urgent and important message: we can and must begin today to alleviate the catastrophic burden placed on over a billion people who, every day, must drink unsafe local water, or travel long distances on foot to search for safe water for themselves and their families.

Starting in New York City on June 1, 2007, a team of "20 ordinary male and female athletes doing extraordinary things" ran around the clock along a route that included the U.S., Ireland, the U.K., France, Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Austria, the Czech Republic, Poland, Belarus, Russia, Mongolia, China, Japan and Canada. Each runner sprinted 10 miles a day. The Baton was passed at more than1,500 exchange points. The Run ended back in New York City, on September 4, 2007. Each exchange point and heartfelt moment was captured in the media, fueled by well-organized events in major cities and an international PR campaign. The run was made possible by the generous support of the Dow Chemical Company as the Presenting Sponsor.

The movement began with a step, followed by millions more.

20 international runners, 24 hours a day, 95 days, 15,200 miles, 26.7 million strides
to deliver the message, on foot, hand to hand, face to face, step by step, drop by drop ...
and we will continue until everyone has safe drinking water.

Heroes: Scott Rigsby

In high school, an accident caused the amputation of one of Scott Rigsby's legs. He went through a whole bunch of surgeries to save the other leg, only to eventually have it voluntarily amputated because the surgeries were only mildly successful. He worked his way through a number of prosthetics, and has finally landed some sweet carbon fiber looking things. He now races marathons and triathlons, and became the first double amputee to complete an Ironman Triathlon (2.4mile swim, 112mile bike ride, 26.2mile run). He was previously the first double amputee to complete an Olympic distance triathlon, as well as a Half-Ironman.

Julee's Birthday

It's Julee's 21st birthday. She invited me to dinner with her and her OPA girls, but I told her I didn't want to go. I got her the Nick Drake boxset and a Busdriver cd. We're still friends, and neither of those things has sentimental connection, so eat me.





"There's a new sensation
Sweeping all the nation
And they're calling it
Bare ballin it, bare ballin it"

Bare Ballin' by John Mayer

Faces I Love Part I

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Duffy VI

So I just had a particularly tasty encounter with Duffy.

Here's the day leading up to it:
9:00am...Wake up.
9:00am-11:00am...Watch various judge TV shows (Mathis, Milian, etc).
11:0am-12:00pm...Deal with delinquent Sparkletts account.
12:00pm...Go get Oregano's Favorite Jr. salad and Bollo pasta.
12:30pm-2:00pm...Eat Oregano's Favorite Jr. salad and half of Bollo pasta. Update blog.
2:10pm...Should take leftovers downstairs before I leave to run.
2:15pm...Leave for run. Didn't take leftovers downstairs.
4:00pm...Get back from run, realize that leftovers were left in room. Update blog.
4:05pm...Realize that I have a final at 4:30.
4:10pm-4:20pm...Take shower/get ready for class. Decide to take leftovers downstairs on way out to class.
4:21pm...Leave for class, don't take leftovers downstairs.
4:35pm-5:35pm...Arrive at class, take final, get A in class.
5:35pm-6:15pm...Hang out with Anna and Stephanie after class. Stephanie reacts whenever I talk about other girls. She still has hidden feelings for me, I think. I'll make an entry about her some other time.
6:15pm...Drive to Coffee Bean to pick up tips, maybe see Duffy.
6:18pm...Realize that Duffy opens on Mondays, and won't be there; sadness washes over me.
6:28m...Arrive at Coffee Bean.
6:28:30pm...See Duffy walking out of Coffee Bean in street clothes.
6:29pm...

Duffy: Hey!
Me: Helloooooo, what's goin' on? *I have this supremely creepy way that I say "hello" to Duffy*
D: Nothin'. Just goin' to class.
Me: Oh, that sucks.
D: Yeah, I have a final tonight.
Me: Oh yeah? What class?
D: Ummmm. Spielberg and Lucas.
Me: Ah, yes, Spielberg and Lucas.
D: Yeah.
Me: Oh. So when's our next movie night?
D: I don't know, but soon. *ok, so this is definitely a good sign, right?*
Me: Yeah, I know, for reals.
D: But not tomorrow, I have class. *see? she really did mean soon*
Me: Ok, I'm open basically all week. Wednesday is reading day, and I don't open Thursday, so maaaybeeeeee...
D: Ya know, we were apparently supposed to call Becca and watch Ace Ventura with her.
Me: Fuck Becca. I already told her...*I realize that what I told her is that I can't get my groove thang on with her there*...Ah fuck it, I'm just like lick my balls, Becca
D: Hahaha, that's right.
Me: ...
D: You smell pretty.
Me: I smell pretty?
D: Well, like, "guy pretty."
Me: I see. Yeah, I went for a run, then I took a shower *right about now, I realize that what I'm about to say doesn't make any sense* but then I wasn't sure if that was enough, so I hit some cologne. It's a different one than the one that I've been wearing lately. That's probably why you noticed.
D: Yeah, it's sort of...spicy...
Me: Well, that works. I'm pretty spicy. Actually, I'm more saucy than spicy.
D: Saucy.
Me: Saucy.
Us at the same time: Saucyyyyy. Hahahaha.
Me: Well, I guess that I'll let you go to your final. Good luck.
...We hug...I think that she launches herself into me with a little bit more awkwardness than she was expecting...Her face sort of hits my ear with decent force...This is okay though, because we have an inside joke about her warm eye heating up my cold ear...I dispel any semblance of awkwardness:...
Me: Ah, my cold cold ear.
D: >teehee<
Me: Ok, goodnight, call me later this week.
D: Okay, 'night!

Yeah, so I think that there is definitely something there. All girls know the ol' "compliment his cologne" trick right? Or, at the very least, we've all heard that in a movie at some point or another, and Duffy does nothing BUT watch movies, so she definitely has heard it. I think I'm in pretty solid at this point, no? We'll see.

Oh, after I got home, I updated the blog that I share joint custody of with Louis:
gubom.blogspot.com check it out.

Always Love By Nada Surf

This one goes out to my girl, Ashlee:



To make a mountain of your life
Is just a choice
But I never learned enough
To listen to the voice that told me..
Always love… Hate will get you everytime
Always love… Don’t wait till the finish line

Slow demands come 'round
Squeeze the air and keep the rest out
It helps to write it down
Even when you then cross it out

But Always Love… Hate will get you every time
Always Love… Even when you want to fight

Self-directed lies
I want to know what it’d be like to
Aim so high above
any card that you've been dealt you...

Always Love… Hate will get you every time
Always Love… Hate will get you

I've been held back by something
Yeah. You said to me quietly on the stairs,
I've been held back by something
Yeah. You said to me quietly on the stairs.
You said…
Hey, you good ones.
Hey, you good ones.

To make a mountain of your life
Is just a choice
But I never learned enough
To listen to the voice that told me
Always love…hate will get you everytime
Always love…hate will get you…

I've been held back by something
Yeah, You said to me quietly on the stairs,
I've been held back by something
Yeah, You said to me quietly on the stairs
You said..
Hey, you good ones
Hey, you good ones
Hey, you good ones
I…



As do you, so do I. It is hard, maybe impossible. I have found that religion is inconsequential. God doesn't matter. These things are only words. If God is anything, it is a conceptualization; a cosmic embodiment of love. There is no hate but what we have created for ourselves, and all illness and sadness is borne of it. I used to feel alone in a cold universe, until I realized that love connected me with every aspect of that universe, and, in effect, with God itself. If I find myself asking "Does God exist?" I find that the question becomes "Do I exist?"