how coffee works lawl

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/coffee

Melinda

*walks into back room of Conspire*
"So did you make all of this?"
"Yeah.  Well, my little sister helps sometimes, but I think that everything that is in here now is just by me."
"Oh cool.  I really like it."
"Thanks!  I'm just adding these skulls, because it seems like everyone else in the store is getting ready for Halloween."
"Oh.  I actually think the skulls look pretty cool.  You should just keep them all the time."
"Yeah, you know what?  I was just thinking that myself."
"Definitely.  They're good merchandising tools."
*giggle*
"I'm Nathan, by the way."
"I'm Melinda."
*handshake*
"Well, I guess I'll see you around.  I frequent this location...sporadically."
*obvious chemistry...obvious fail*

Introducing....someone?

I had forgotten that Match will keep renewing your membership as long as you don't cancel. I'd recently signed up (and paid) so that I could get in touch with this girl, Emily, who I never wrote about, but did go on exactly one date with (lol, she wouldn't call me back). Anyways, so I still had this membership floating around, and a girl winks at me all of a sudden. To my tremendous surprise, she actually looked cute, so I emailed her back and we began a light correspondence. We quickly moved on to texting, and decided to meet up for coffee on Wednesday night, which was last night.

She lives in Glendale (which may actually be problematic, since it's kind of far), so I figured we'd meet somewhere in between. She had never been to or heard of Lux, so we decided to go there. Blah blah blah, a bunch of nothing happens, I go to work, whatever. So even though the news people were expecting rain last night, I figured I'd go through one of those drive through car wash things at the gas station, since my car looked like a bucket of dirt. So now, car is clean and gas is full. I had also stopped earlier by Safeway, because Safeway has a deceptively good flower section usually. More or less paid off, as I grabbed a red and red calico rose (I think they call them "Intuition" roses these days), which was brought to prominence in my life first with Leslie. I think it was her 17th birthday, perhaps? I don't remember. Anyways, rose, gas, clean car, good to go.

I didn't have much time after all of this, so I did not get to take a shower or do my hair. I just changed my shirt and threw on some deodorant, basically. Oh, and washed my face. I definitely still had my trashy beard and crappy hair, lol. I sent her a text warning of my impending terrible experimental beard, even. She said that she didn't mind, so I suppose all systems are go?

Anywho, she ended up having to follow me to Lux, because she could not find it, so I feel that the car wash paid off. She was a little bit overly impressed by the rose, frankly, which leads me to believe that she has had shitty relationships in the past (turns out I was right). Reconfirming this thought was her sincere gratitude for me paying and opening the door and doing other very obvious things that I still can't believe all guys don't do automatically.

She had a caramel iced coffee. I ordered a medium breve cappuccinos, but Sammy said he only makes small cappuccinos, so we did a latte instead. We sat outside, and apparently RIGHT below the crazy misting system. We talked for a long time at that first table before I realized that my hair was like dripping wet, and we moved to the next table over. We also spoke for a long time at that table. Topics of conversation included work, past relationships (hers, mostly...I didn't much feel that mine were important at this time), favorite colors, buying houses, and pets.

She's really very pretty. In the interest of disclosure, I'd be forced to admit that she would be the curviest girl that I'd ever been out with. This was not a surprise, as her Match body type is indeed, "Curvy" so it is not a point of contention or anything. So yeah, she's very pretty, and has like three or four piercings in each ear (she works at a Piercing Pagoda). Her style is hard to describe, but she looked cute anyways.

She agreed to go to dinner with me this Sunday (pending my schedule being clear...I may be in Flagstaff), so we'll just see how this goes.

Oh, I have yet to name her...let's go with Calico.

What just happened? Or... Nella pt I

Nella and I had agreed to meet at Cartel this evening at 5pm. I arrived a little bit early, which my photo album from Havasupai, and my one pink rose. I sat there at the bar and struck up a conversation with this guy who does high interest loans for small businesses. We spoke for a little while and laughed about how he is some sort of modern loan shark. At some point, Nella arrived. I was pretty sure it was her from the corner of my eye, but could not be certain. She then interrupted and verified that it was her, so I ended my conversation with loan shark, paid for Nella's toddy, and my small latte, and sat at a table with her.

We spoke of a lot of different things. Most of it centered around science, and health, and the underlying philosophies guiding these things. She explained more about what she does now, and what she had done in the past. Her voice is less awkward in person than it was on the phone, but she still has a very teacherly voice. That is to say that she speaks slowly and over enunciates her words. This is, of course, the exact opposite of how I speak. Yin Yang, whatever. It was a nice conversation. Not life changing, by any means, but nice. There was no serious discernible spark, but I think that I may call her again anyways. I asked her if she was okay with me calling, and she said yeah, so we'll see.

Then, I was just chilling at Cartel sort of debriefing with Ashley (the barista), and I sat down at the bar next to this Indian dude (India, not Native American). Eventually, he was sucked in to our conversation, and ultimately I began to speak to him directly. His name is Tejaswi (tay-jhus-vee) or Te (tay) for short. Te is here from India, and studying some sort of Computer Sciences, but he has something to do with Biology, too. We spoke at length about the differences, or rather, the lack thereof, between America and India. He says that they are the same place. He is from Bangalore, which is somewhere in south India. We spoke about the amazing place that is Mumbai (formerly Bombay), and how Slumdog Millionaire actually captured it quite accurately. He explained the the people in the slums of Mumbai have been enticed to leave by the government, because they sit on very popular real estate. Te believes that they do not want to leave, even though they live in abject squalor, because if they leave, they become irrelevant. When they are on the important real estate, people care in some way about them, but as soon as they relocate to the outskirts, no one pays attention anymore, he thinks. He may be right. Te hates Arizona, because of the hicks, which I thought was funny. He was a cool cat, so I grabbed his number. I mean, I see him at Cartel often, but I'll probably call him up for a beer sometime.

While I was talking with Te, Elizabeth (neighbor girl who used to date Tree, and to whom I lent my ipod, which was subsequently lost) and her friend/roommate Ari came in. Ari is a very beautiful girl with an absolutely killer ass, and she was wearing a t-shirt material dress that very wonderfully accented this portion of her anatomy. Anywho, she was going to have a party tonight, so she invited Te and I to come. Te could not make it due to school and the such, but I figured why not? I mean, worst case scenario: I end up sleeping with Ari, right? That's what I thought.

Her directions actually included the words, "bring beer," so I did. Just a 12 of Miller Lite, which seemed silly when I first arrived. I got there around 10:30, and the true core of the party was there. It was a hippy party. Her friend Starlyn gave me a 30 second hug and a kiss on the cheek, and was just a cool nutball, and everyone else sort of fit in. Very happy free love types of people all drinking small microbrews. So my giant box of shit beer stood out, but I drank it anyways. Eventually, more and more people showed up, and it started to get weird so I left. Before that happened though, I sat in some living room area while this Matt guy played his various ethnic flutes. Chinese, Japanese, Irish, etc. He even brought a few didgeridoos. He was actually really good, and I enjoyed listening to him raga out. I told him about the elusive "listening night" and asked if he would like to come some time. He of course said YES to this, and I warned him that it would probably be a chant listening night, but he was unfazed by this. No worries. As long as he brings his rad flutes, Adam will love him. Adam's trip sounds amazing, I can't wait until he gets back so I can actually hear about it instead of read. I keep almost calling him to just say what's up, but then I remember that he is a broad. ha ha.

Hmm, oh and this drunk girl was flirting with me, but I would have felt bad so I didn't let it go anywhere. Tracy? Stacy? Tracy, I think. She was the first person to arrive with beer that wasn't all local and microbrewy, so we hit it off (she brought one of those hilarious personal pump keg things of coors light). On the way out, she was sad that I was leaving, and really wanted to run in to me again, but like I mentioned, she was drunk. So, I don't know, I just let that one slide. I probably will see her again anyways, so we'll see what happens then. Hmm, was a weird night. Fun, but weird. Oh, also, Starlyn let me bless myself with her personal incense blend. Good times. Adam, this was YOUR kind of party.


Oh, PS, I heard Mandala closed down? Lame.

Match Girl: Nella

Just to remind any of you who forgot, I've asked both Amburger and Lemon out now, and they've both retained their option to remain just friends with myself. No hard feelings, I sort of suspected as much would be the case (well, Amburger was a surprise, but I saw Lemon coming). So now I was kind of bored the other day, so I ran a little match.com search to see who was new and exciting and everything else. Interestingly, there were some fresh new faces to flex my fancy forward. In fact, one of these new faces was particularly interesting. We'll henceforth know her as Nella. The reason for this name reveals my creepiness, so we'll keep it an unpublished whisper for now. She's well educated (working on her PhD), and sort of old school about stuff, according to what I can glean from her profile. Well, anyways, I actually signed up for a month long account just so that I could email her, which I did. She responded positively, and now we've sent a few emails back and forth. She sounds very interesting, and is definitely intelligent. We have plans in two ways. First, she is going to call me some time tonight after work. Second, we're going to meet up for coffee at Cartel some time in the very near future (I can't be specific, or else there may be spies). I'll keep the one or two of you updated as things progress. I have hope for this one.

“Dum spiro, spero”

Amburger

Okay, so let's throw her into the mix.

Amburger is Jen's (remember her?) friend. One of her best friends, apparently. I'd seen her at Cartel a whole bunch but never actually talked to her. One day, I was there with Adam, and she came in and we all started talking. She's super nice, and I told her that I could help her locate a glittery saddle for her bike that she wanted, so we exchanged numbers. Blah blah blah and one glittery saddle later, we're friends now.

I can't tell if I like her or not. I'm fairly sure that I do. She isn't really my normal type, in all honesty; it's a departure for me. She is very petite and sort of mousy, if I had to use a slightly derogatory descriptive. She rides her bike a whole lot, so she has that fixie girl body. In case you don't know what this is, it would be a girl who is very lean with narrow shoulders and hips, no butt, minimal bust, and a tendency to wear slip-ons or flat low tops, knee length shorts, and a t-shirt. She is totally nice, and fun to talk to, but I think that I want to see if I have any chance with Lemon first. Speaking of, hold on a second...

कॉफी रेफिल्ल्स

Okay, so do you remember my telling you about the cutest girl ever who worked at Bunna? Well, I'm renaming her (she used to be tagged on here as Coffee, but I recently misused that tag to reference the actual drink, so the change is necessary). I'm going to call her Buster, in reference to Buster from Arrested Development who studied Cartography. This makes sense because she is taking a cartography class right now. Amazing. She is a geography major. In love.

Okay, sooooo, I hadn't seen her in a long time (more or less since I had moved to Tempe from Gilbert, as she had suggested I might like this new coffee shop called Cartel Coffee Lab). What I mean is that I used to go to Bunna, then I stopped because I found that Cartel is amazing. I would still every so often go to Bunna just to flirt with Buster, but she was never there.

About a month ago maybe I was at Cartel and she walked in. Heart stops. She's STILL the cutest girl ever, in case you were wondering. She actually recognized and remembered me, which was fun for me. We spoke for a second and my flaming desire to be engulfed in her fiery embrace was once again doused with the most flammable of combusting liquids. I mean to say that my crush was uncrumpled and recrushed. I liked her again, in other words. However, at that time, things with Roadrunner were just starting to get interesting, so I wrote it off to chance for a second.

She came in again a week or two later and the same thing happened and I decided that if things with Roadrunner didn't work out, she'd be my next big interest.

Fast forward to yesterday.

My car broke down on the way to Sedona/Flagstaff. I had to come back. I didn't tell anyone this, but I felt like there was something that I needed to be here for and that's why maybe my car didn't let me get to Oak Creek. I mean, camping would have been fun, but I would have missed something while I was gone.

Fast forward to today.

I'm sitting in Cartel drawing in my sketchbook. I've been there for a few hours at this point, having no where else to be and not a car to get there in. I look up when the door opens and a vaguely familiar silhouette moves into the room. As she moves closer, the lights wrap around her and reveal her face, complete with new haircut. She walks over and says hi. I compliment her new style. She smiles and asks if she can see what I'm drawing. I hand her the stack of my already finished drawings, since those were better than the one I was working on. I admit that "these are less embarrassing." We talk, and then someone opens the door so I suggest that she get in line, lest she be waiting there forever. I say that I'll stand with her, and she agrees. She orders. She gets her drink. We talk about where she lives. She says that she lives on Mitchell. I mention that that is the same street that Mucho Gusto is on. She says that she has never been there. I say that it is tasty, but expensive. I relay story of Adam almost ordering a $15 bean and no cheese burrito. We laugh. She says that her friends all tell her that she'd like it, but she has just never gone. I say, "Would you like to go with me?" or something like that. She says sure. I pat my pockets adorably and say, "...the one time in my life that I don't have a pen on me...let me get your number." I offer one of my colored markers and the first page of my sketchbook. She doesn't want to draw on one of my drawings. I tell her it's okay, the page is just a protective page for the next page which has an actual drawing on it. She says okay and writes her cutest number in the world. She has a foreign area code. We talk about where she's from. She goes to class.

Reevaluating the shit

It is part of every responsible person's duty to periodically reevaluate their feelings and decisions on various experiences. For myself, this includes past relationships, conversations, career plans, and personal creeds. Of course, the most obvious things for me to reconsider occasionally are Julee, med school, and straight edge.
The Julee thing is fairly open and shut. I think that I maybe should have stuck with Danette that night at prom, but then everything nowadays would be upside down. I don't know that I'd even be able to have this sort of reflection. I'd probably be a kinesiology student still, for instance. I don't know, it's impossible to say what could have been. I still occasionally miss Julee, but I am mostly glad that I'm away from her. I have developed a new taste for women, and a new appreciation as well. I see now that if I were to meet Julee NOW, I wouldn't be all that interested in her, really.
Medical school is too vague to talk about. I wonder if it is the right decision, but I don't think that I'm ready to commit to either side.
Straight edge demands reflection. Any reason that I have for STAYING straight edge will probably be different than any reason I had for BECOMING straight edge. I wonder if I'm not depriving myself of something, as opposed to protecting. I still generally view alcohol and drugs and casual sex as detrimental to spiritual fulfillment, but is it really so black and white? Small amounts of alcohol or weed can actually have beneficial effects on the body (and the soul, according to some), so why do we take such a hard line stance? Should not the stance be against getting drunk as opposed to drinking? Is it true that you can not have an honest opinion on a situation to which you are unexperienced? Because I've never been high, can I really say that I don't see any spiritual betterment in doing so? This is not the same thing as abortion.
Someone who has never known love cannot say that it isn't important to them, I don't think. Someone who has never had sex cannot say that sex is not important to them, unless they throw an asterisk on the end of that statement. And what about the word love? In an effort to retain the sacred aspect of SOMEthing, I used to hold back my affection. I was separated. Kisses considered too valuable. Sex considered distant. The word itself saved for unique situations. Maybe we'd be better people if we didn't overload that word, or put too great of expectations on it. Why can't we redefine love? People claim that using the word too often devalues it. This may be true, and in fact probably is. But that's why we have poetry, isn't it? We can prove the level of our love (love is a spectrum, after all) by our actions, more so than we'd ever be able to with words. Sometimes it may be better for us to tell someone we love them, even if we don't LOVE THEM. Why is there some weird quota involved here? It feels like we attribute the word to a feeling we had with someone at some point, and then we only use it again when we achieve the same feeling or something greater. If we do THAT, I fear that we might be OVERvaluing the word. Why not just love everyone, but be aware that perhaps we love some people more than others, and that the word may not always mean the same thing every time we use it? The danger lies in the interpretation of the word by the other person. If I tell someone that I love them, they may not understand exactly how I feel. Once again, poetry comes into our lives and demands that single words only superficially represent the way that we feel. Didn't Adam tell me that the Japanese don't say "I love you," but rather use a word that basically means "loving" or is a verb for a loving feeling experienced at that moment? This makes more sense to me. In this way, we are not locking ourselves into a designated height of expression, but rather just saying "At THIS moment, I feel something for you that it tremendously positive and enjoyable." However, I wouldn't dare say that to a girlfriend who just said she loves me, lest she cut my testicles off.
So what's the point? Love is transient and subjective. How we feel at any point is only how we feel at THAT point. If I'm laying next to someone and I feel my mouth forming the words, "I love you," maybe I'll just say it. Or maybe I'll preface it and protect my own future heart by saying. "At this moment, I feel love for you." It's hard to say.
Is the whole straightedge thing similar to veganism? I don't know. I feel like since I have already categorized the animal products industry as a negative thing, I cannot partake at all. In other words, I've decided that it is bad, so for me to support it would just be hypocritical in the most damaging way. It isn't even really possible to say, "veganism is too hard, I'm going to just have a little bit of cheese now and then," because I know that it ISN'T too hard. Or maybe it is, but I like to think that we ought to allow things into our lives that we know are hard, because it makes us better. If it really IS too hard, then you don't just throw it out the window. You strive and strive for it, and actually do the best that you can. You don't just SAY that you're trying your hardest. I mean, I think that I'd rather you didn't try at all than to lie to everyone and lower your standards. The point though is that I don't necessarily consider alcohol and weed to be the same as like meat and fur. The meat and fur are damaging and destructive in their production, and my consumption thereof only encourages that. My support further enhances the idea that man has been given unchecked domination over all of creation. That we can decide who dies and why. We're all just creatures. Weed and/or alcohol are only as bad as the people who consume them. Getting drunk is damaging, but is DRINKING that bad? Some of the most respected and peaceful peoples in the history of peoples enjoyed the occasional drink (or smoke). Who else might I be? And besides, people who are straight edge are usually just scared, honestly. Scared of various things, but scared nonetheless. Maybe of their past, or their family's past. Maybe of the future, or a lack thereof. It's hard to say.

Just checking in

Some things work out in weird ways. I hate being/sleeping alone, but I can spend extended periods of time largely by myself and be totally content. I can sit in a coffee shop or tea house for 5 or 6 hours filling out crossword puzzles and watching people. I hate walking next to a girl without touching her.

I've changed some strategies. Whereas all girls think that they value honesty and forwardness, they don't actually value it in the same way that they value animal attraction and cheesy game. Once I would have been the best listener she'd ever met, but then also possibly the best friend she'd ever stood to gain. I'm aware. Now I am young, dumb, and more or less full of cum, I guess. I can still listen like a fuckin' fox, but instead of responding, "maybe you should give your ex another chance," I'm going to be straight up like, "He's an idiot for not appreciating you." I mean, to whom do I hold loyalties, and why don't I hold them to myself? I still will never LIE to a girl, but if she stands to benefit as much from me as from someone else, I'm going to stop martyring. This is already working, to a certain degree. I think that I have Raerae confused, which is actually good for me. She was fairly sure that she didn't want to get into anything too quickly, but I think that she might be reconsidering, now that she knows how rad I am. We flirt. I say WE. I mean, I definitely do it more and more often, but she doesn't respond the way that an uncomfortable girl would. The other difference would be that in the past I would ask over and over if it was okay to flirt with her, and if she was comfortable and all that. Fuck that. I am going to do it even if it makes her uncomfortable. If she can't handle it, then we'll fall apart, but maybe that's best in that case. However, what if she CAN handle it? Then I win. Or we both do, or something.

Holy crap, the old wannabe Stevie Nicks playing guitar here at Bunna is now singing the weirdest cover of "The Reason" (Hoobastank maybe?) ever. It's actually better than the real song, but that isn't a tremendously difficult thing to accomplish. I just sneezed and it was better than the original. How that jerk won a songwriting award for that crap blows my mind.

Here's the list, in order:
Raerae
Hana
Delux
Tea
Coffee
Ironwoman
Granola

If any of those names are foreign to you, it's either because I haven't mentioned them (Delux), or you aren't paying enough attention.

Raerae: Duh, see this entry and the one before it.
Hana: I liveblogged about her and Tea, who both work at Mandala.
Delux: Plain Jane working at Lux.
Coffee: Cutest girl ever. Works at Bunna.
Ironwoman: Sold me these here running shoes.
Granola: Scary Eye's roommate. She has become rather boring.

So yeah, Granola is boring. She wakes up at like 2 or 3 and sits around until she goes to sleep again. She doesn't work or go to school. With all due respect, when you do so little with your day, you aren't going to have much to talk about. And she doesn't. Nothing is ever up nor is it ever new. Although it usually IS the plan for the day. Ugh.

Oh yeah, Carebear turned out to be part of a Bible study at our shop, which is for some reason a huge turnoff for me. I mean, I'm all for reading the Bible, but I hate the "four girls talking about Jesus and feminism" setup of their group. She is still cute as a ladybug, so if I think that she'll accept an advance, I'll extend one, but I don't necessarily plan on doing so now.

I'm looking for houses now. I'm about two weeks early, but I'm looking anyways. I'm looking in Tempe, South Scottsdale, North Chandler, and West Mesa, in that order. I've found some pretty promising listings already, so I think we'll be able to get something sort of nice. It shall be myself, Ashlee, and Lou Bega, so I'm hoping for a 4 bedroom (spare for storage) or a big 3 with a den or garage or something. My preferred neighborhood would really be the Maple Ash area that is just SouthWest of University and Mill. I want to sort of be near happenings, and people our age. I think Ashlee feels the same way. Lou Bega just wants to be somewhat closer to any semblance of an arts scene, since such a thing is completely absent from our area now. I'm excited. I want to have sex with some girl and have BOTH of them hear it. Not for any sort of pervy excitable reason like I get off on it, I just think that'll be funny. I'm also totally getting a sex gong. I think that being the age that I am, sex sort of loses its sacred aspect and becomes a little more fun, since now essentially every girl that I meet will have had sex at least once previous to me. Does that make sense? I mean that a virgin or a girl for whom I was her first might be offended by a sex gong, but a girlie who isn't so embarrassed by it would probably just think I'm a dummy, then roll over and go to sleep. Which I'm okay with. Lou B and I have been laughing about the idea for a long time, so I think it's definitely going to have to happen now at the new place. Especially since we will both be college graduates. I plan to help Loubiez get some, somehow. I am really pestering him about joining the gym and going with me. He says that he just wants to run, but honestly, I am going to be running a lot less than previously. I want to focus more on physical appearance than athletic ability, so running will become just one of the many things that I do. Whatever.

I told Raerae that she inspired me. She has what I think is a totally hot body/nearly perfect build. Broad-ish shoulders, small ribcage and waist, but WITH hips. Long legs, too. Big calves. Doesn't SOUND sexy, but it IS. I felt sort of lacking, for sure. She also told me about her friend Glenn (who is my primary competition for her panties...err, I mean heart) who is an Air Force ROTC guy who works out like a madman and has aspirations of becoming a test pilot, and then an astronaut, which is like growing up to become Mick Jagger with a huge dick, ya know? I can't beat that even if I DO cure cancer/AIDS. Fuck him. Maybe he'll become an alcoholic or meth addict due to the pressure. See, now this is a situation where traditionally I'd be like "Raerae, for reals, Glenn is great, and he treats you well, right? You sort of like him? Well, why don't you go out with him and see how it works? If it doesn't really play out, then maybe we could go out." Anyways, so I told her that her mild self hate (she doesn't like her body, and thinks that she could lose a few pounds) inspired me to also hate myself enough to make a change. So I'm going to try. Again. For reals. Laugh Out Loud. Lots Of Laughs. Look Out Lucy!

Okay, time to do this midterm I guess.

The Reason lyrics (Hoobastank)

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you