A New Year, A New Life

So this is 2008. This figures to be an important year in my life. This is the year that I have to commit. To decide. To finalize my direction at least for a short while. This is the year that many songs speak of (my 23rd birthday is in February). Jimmy Eat World said:

"Amazing still it seems
Ill be 23
I wont always love what I'll never have
I wont always live in my regret"

Rufus Wainwright wisely warns:

"Soaking on the ice, makin' eyes all by myself
Didn't realize you were so top of the shelf
Just you wait and see when you turn, turn 23"

God Lives Underwater reflected in this way:

"I've spent 23 years now
Trying to get by
Other people make it day to day
I still wonder why"

And anyways, even though I used to be too cool for New Year's Resolutions, I thought that maybe that was me being arrogant. In fact, it almost definitely was. An arrogance that I can do without. So I'm doing away with it now. I'm defining some resolutions. Some are awkward and abstract, and some are definite and concrete.


#1) Live more dangerously
I think that everyone probably says this every year, but I think that I really mean it. I want to embarrass myself and be humiliated and feel like an ass. I want that so that I can come out on the other side having survived. I want to ask out girls and get laughed at or slapped. Something dramatic. I want to run farther than I am able, and have to nearly crawl into my house. I want to find myself under an overloaded bar, with no spot. Save myself. Die otherwise. Put myself into danger.


#2) Run 1000 miles
This really isn't as big as it sounds, but I would like to have a documented 1000 mile year under my belt. I'm going to maybe keep tabs here and on coolrunning.com, which has a handy free journal thing that is awesome.

#3) Work out three days or more a week, every week
It isn't about achieving something tremendous. It's about making a positive change, and committing to something healthy and worthwhile. I would like to reclaim my body. Prisoner in my own soft cell.

#4) Make friends; lose friends
I'd like to lose a friend due to honesty. Perhaps there is someone out there that will be offended by some piece of honest assessment and will write me off because of it. I'm okay with that. I'm only okay with it if it is for that reason, though. I need friends with whom I can be straight up, and who can be straight up with me. If that is hard to handle, then so be it. I'd also like to make a friend or two for the same reason as well. Someone who recognizes the truth, and appreciates it.

#5) Eat better
I know how to eat. I know how to eat WELL, that is. I know I should eat 5-7 times a day. I know that I should eat organically and whole. I know that I shouldn't eat out. I know that I shouldn't eat sugar. So here's the deal. I'm going to carry a food log and note down everything that I eat. I'm going to try to eat out 2 times or less every week (there is an almost mandatory restaurant meal on Sundays). I'm going to try to eat the actual amounts of vegetables and fruits that I'm supposed to, and I'm going to try to prepare them myself. Oh, I also want to bake and cook more, instead of quick cooking stuff. I'd like to become a better chef.

That's all for now, I think. I may come up with some other things that I'd like to focus on this year. If I do, I'll post them. I leave you with Tori Amos:

"If I have a heart attack at 23
I'm loving you too much
If I have a heart attack at 23
Wave bye-bye
You'll miss me
You'll miss me baby
If I have a heart attack at 23"