Make posts about:
Anna
Breanna
Sundin
Stephanie
Cori
Joelle
Giroux
Matt
Adam
Brian
Laura
Joe
Choir Girls
Francine
School Plans
Things I Want To Cure
Dee
Jess
Hiking
My Family
Skating
Football Tales
Movies that have made me cry
Poetry
Thoughts on: Sex, Drugs, Rock N Roll
Kissing
BiSexuality
And probably more stuff as well that I just can't think of now.
Goodnight.
“To have his path made clear for him is the aspiration of every human being in our beclouded and tempestuous existence”
Joseph Conrad
Friday, November 30, 2007
Note To Self
Celebrities I Love
Here are some of my favorites. This is about lust, so Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley and the such are not represented, as I appreciate them in a different way.
Jessica Biel: 
Mostly just her body really, though her face isn't like BAD or anything.
Amy Adams:
red hair...big eyes....mmmm
Scarlett Johansson:
A perfect body and an intriguing face. Unbelievable.
Lindsay Lohan:
The hair. The eyes. The freckles. The life failure. And even though I claim not to be a boob man, Lindsay for a long while had what I thought may be the perfect pair. Too bad she fucked up her body.
That's all for now. This post will be updated REGULARLY.
My type's phenotype
Bottom up:
Feet: Just SLIGHTLY larger than average, though not overly bone-filled or lean or sharp.
Calves: Larger than average, though not like fatty at all. I like a little muscle here.
Knees: No sagging.
Quads: Muscular shape, but no separation due to leanness.
Hamstrings: Muscle. Hook. It. Up. One of my favorite places. A nice curve. Mmm, tasty.
Butt: Thick due to muscular foundation, not fat. Cellulite not welcome here.
Waist: Smaller the better.
Stomach: I like to know that there is a six pack hiding under there, but I don't necessarily want to see it all the time. Just the side lines, and the oblique definition (another one of my favorite areas).
Boobs: Traditionally I pursue girls who are flat in the name of athleticism. I am not much of a breast man type (I prefer legs), but my ideal chick is otherwise athletic and lean with C cups. I don't like them too big. Although, Duffy might be edging up on some Ds. Side boob is one of the hottest things ever.
Arms: Um, what the fuck ever, so long as they aren't all flabby or trackmarked.
Here is a graphical representation of what I just described (my perfect female's body):
okay, so since it's apparently not obvious, this specimen is Jessica Biel
The revolution will have two wheels
I'm the first and only person in the history of Jesus' creation (the internet) to combine "AquaSource" and "014729" in the same website/page.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=
firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&q=
AquaSource+%2B014729&btnG=Search
Showerheads and conspiracy
So I was going to make an entry about my new showerhead, but I may have instead uncovered a massive cover up.
The brand is AquaSource. The Item/Article # is 014729. I bought it from Lowe's.
Lowe's doesn't even list the brand "AquaSource" on their website, and that item number brings nothing up. A Yahoo seach for "AquaSource 014729" yielded this:
"We did not find results for: AquaSource 014729. Try the suggestions below or type a new query above."
Not ONE single result? On the INTERNETS?!?! There are like two billion webpages per person on the earth, and not ONE of them used "AquaSource" and "014729"??? Not even the company that produces this thing?!
Worrisome.
So then I search just for "AquaSource" and find some hippy ass shit selling algae in a bottle (http://www.aquasource.co.uk/Products/products.html)
So then I search for "Aqua Source" and get "#
Aqua Source Irrigation of Atlanta. RainBird Select Contractor ...
Aqua Source Irrigation has earned a distinguished reputation in the residential ... Aqua Source Irrigation services a broad range of commercial and residential ...
www.aquasourcega.com - 8k - Cached "
Bullshit.
So THEN I try "Aqua Source Faucets" and get nothing helpful at all.
I look on the box for a website, and get only this: www.lgsourcing.com which turns out to be basically a non site, but it does show me that LG is just Lowe's distribution company, and probably also their manufacturer. I'm pretty sure that AquaSource is just Lowe's generic brand, but this is all very confusing.
Does my faucet even exist? I really just wanted to post a picture and an annoyingly wordy description of its capabilities, but that has proven to be an impossible task. More on this breaking development as it occurs.
"“My roommate says, I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom? It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.”
-Mitch Hedberg
Keepin' up with the Asheez
So, unbeknownst to Ashee, and in direct opposition to her eventual advice, I totally responded to Erica's Facebook message by asking her out. I admitted that I'd been "secretly admiring [her] for the entire duration of this semester," and I called her "irresistible and intriguing" and something else equally Clark Gable-like (fuck you, Clark Gable's the shit). In any case, she said no. She said that she hated me and that I ought to just shit on my own face:
"As for Saturday... We could hang out sometime for sure, but I'm in this complicated sort of relationship with boy mentioned above...But yeah, learning some new restaurants would be cool. I'm not really a coffee person unless I need to be up for a few days straight, but I know some pretty chill places too. My friends are baristas around town and also attend some national coffee/latte art conventions each year. It's pretty cool.
Anyway, perhaps I will see you in class (assuming we both go... I might be hiking if the opportunity arises) on Monday. Who knows. Hit me up if you want to hang out :-)"
There were other things in there, too, but they were of no consequence to this entry.
Analyze as you see fit.
"It's New Year's Eve, I'm in Glendora
I'm the only living person in Glendora
Headin' east on the freeway
I left my prom dress on the busstop in Duarte
I switch the rules, you take advantage
You know I always like to play the victim
And would you fuck me? 'Cause I'd fuck me
Am I your wetnap?
Freestyle walkin'"
"Glendora" by Rilo Kiley
Duffy III
So I may have glimpsed something new. Duffy normally has what I consider to be a very obvious constant shield. She has become, maybe due to past experience, slightly jaded; a little sarcastic in a defensive way, and maybe a little self-conscious. However, I think that I may exist inside of the bounds of her defenses now. She acts a little differently than she used to. Her body language has changed. We flirt ferociously, and even physically. I stand abnormally close to her and look at her like Clark Gable probably looked at every girl that he then immediately had sex with. I mean, we don't immediately have sex, but she does send the same basic look my way. I suppose that it's more or less a "come hither" look, we just don't have any place to come OR hither, ya know? And we're also insultingly embarrassed of our disgusting bodies. Well, actually, she has huge boobs, but then so do I, and there just isn't enough space for both pairs.
"No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."
Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) -Gone With the Wind
Julee II
I realized how little I entered about Julee. I think that this is because it's still a little too soon. I don't like reminiscing too much. It is slightly painful, at least. Instead of giving me an opportunity to put pieces together, it seems to push them farther apart. That's a lame expression, but it works. When I think about her, my brain does the same thing that it does when I think about The Lucky Eight: it induces massive sexual fluid release. Seminal fluid comes pouring out of every pore and covers those delicious chocolate-filled egg shell pirouettes like the delicious melted peanut butter/caramel and toffee bits that make me want to kill myself and holy shit that fuck hell was so good. So anyways, thinking about Julee is like December 2001, when we all WANTED to make terrorists/buildings/airplanes jokes, but felt like maybe it was still a little too soon for polite company to become aware of our truly pathetic selves. Real talk.
"How good it feels to be alive
And strive for your desire
Just cause you can't see your cage
Doesn't mean that you are free"
-Overcome (The Recapitulation) by RX Bandits
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