Superhuman

Infographic by Smarter.org

Human As Destroyer

Has anyone ever noticed that humans seem to be hell bent on self destruction?  Yes, tons of people have pointed out that we are essentially a literal virus on the host body of the earth.  But really let it sink in.  Every other animal has instincts that guide it towards life.  Every single one.  Every plant.  Every animal.  Everything with life in it seeks more life.  Except humans.

Imagine a world with no humans.  Imagine the tremendous zen of this concept.  An entire planet covered in things all striving for more and more life.  Death exists, because without it, life could not.  But no animals killing each other for no purpose.  No animals killing themselves.  No animals killing thousands of other animals for the sake of money or prosperity.  No prosperity.  No money.  It would be nature, naturally.

But we are here.  We, the creators of guns and bombs and poisons and nuclear reactor meltdowns and medical testing and pollution.  We are here.  Correct me if I am wrong, but no other species has such a thing as suicide.  Imagine it, the very concept of a dolphin deciding that it has nothing left to live for.  A cactus wren resting on the desert floor, waiting for a bobcat.  It does not exist.  All animals are geared for life.  There are rare instances in which one animal inhabits the brain of another and forces that animal's body to commit itself to death (see: thousands of videos about parasitic worms that make ants stand out on branches waiting to get eaten).  It could be argued, I suppose, that this happens to people, too.  That our "parasitic worm" that takes over people's minds and makes them act against nature is something we call "mental illness."  Or, we could more realistically examine our lives.  We live on giant fields of concrete, formed of the crushed memories of mountains.  We sleep hundreds of feet in the sky, on top of fake ducks.  We eat things that do not grow.  We create food.  So arrogant as to think that there is not plenty available already, we make more.  And then we throw it all away.  We create wars, since suicide isn't fast enough.  We create great machines that collapse and kills hundreds or thousands at a time.  We have accidents, and whole countries get cancer.  We have cancer.  We are not some supreme destroying force.  We are a supremely self-destructive force.  We will not destroy the earth.  The rest of creation simply tolerates our presence.  One day, when our air is too thick to pass through our lungs and into our bloodstreams, when our water is too blackened to swallow, when our food is made only of plastic, we will simply cease to be.  And dolphins will still swim.  And cactus wrens will still fly.  And bobcats will still try to eat cactus wrens.  There will be fewer of them, but they will not be destroyed by us.  We are an accident.  We are not the proof of evolution, but rather the DISproof of it.  What other animal evolves to point of self-destruction?  None.  Or if it has, it surely does not matter all.

We Are Not Wolves, Though We Should Wish To Be

I realized, sometime during the past two months, that people really like to refer to humans as "pack-animals."  They like to say that we operate best as a community, and that we are genetically designed to seek communion with each other.  They say that isolative people die younger, and have greater rates of depression.  They often compare humans to wolves, which is weird because, as far as I know, wolves only exhibit the frequently referenced wolf-pack hierarchy (alpha, beta, omega) in captivity.  In other words, people love to say that wolves exist in highly structured packs that are run by the dominant or "alpha" male.  Second in line is the beta, who acts sort of like a servant to the alpha.  Last in line is the omega who apparently is just everybody's bitch.  In reality though, wolves only do that when they are packed together with wolves that they are unaccustomed to (like they would be in a zoo or a refuge or something).  In the wild, wolves travel as families.  Father, mother, kids.  Cousins?  I don't know, I'm not some wolf expert.  My point is that the "wolf pack" that everyone loves to reference so much is actually an artificial construct that is sort of a due directly to the meddling of man, or possibly to extraordinary natural circumstances (disasters, famine, etc). 

I've been thinking about this concept for a while though.  Before I learned that about the wolves.  It seems to me that the people who insist that humans are pack animals are generally members of the pack.  They aren't the Alphas.  They aren't the leaders.  They are people who are confident in their incompetence, and know that without a strong leader guiding them, they would not survive.  They may not be stupid, or weak.  But they are afraid.  And furthermore, it seems that the leaders generally look at the pack as a group of pitiful creatures.  People who can not care for themselves.  And so the leader is there.  To make the decisions, and to save people from their own backward instincts.  We are so firmly modernized that we say things like "Without air conditioning, he could die!"  Granted, people die all the time in Phoenix (where I currently am) from heat related issues, but think about how long we as a species survived in all sorts of environments without air conditioning.  Cars.  Sunscreen.  Rectal exams.  Flavored yogurt NOW! with Fiber!  It seems that we are this weird accident that inexplicably continues to propagate, and the rest of creation is just waiting for us to go away so that they can get on with it.

Quick update: Mensa

So about three or four weeks ago I scheduled a few hours of my Sunday afternoon off, and took the Mensa entrance exam.

It was administered at the Glendale Library, and lasted about an hour and a half or so.  If I had to guess, I would say that about 12 people were in that room with me, taking their chances. 

First, you take the Wonderlic, which is the very same test that all incoming NFL players take.  I suppose that it measures your general problem solving abilities, which may be of some use to scouts who are assessing a player's possible effectiveness.  Now, if you score in the top 1-2% on this exam, you qualify for Mensa.  I remember the test being like 8-10 minutes long, but having an impossible (pretty much literally) 50 questions that get harder as you go along. 

After the Wonderlic, you take the actual Mensa test, which I guess is designed and edited by Mensa members or something.  It was 7 or 8 sections of anywhere from 15 to 30 questions, and each section was 15 minutes or less.  Most of the sections were analogy-type questions where they'd show you a hat and a head, then a shoe, and the correct answer is '"foot."  Stuff like that.

I chatted with the proctors (who were very nice, by the way) after the exam, and they clarified that you have to score top 1-2% compared to the general population, not just compared to everyone who has ever taken the exam (I would imagine that the population that takes the exam is probably slightly above average in intelligence, or else they wouldn't even try.  But I could be wrong).  They said that somewhere around half of the people in the room that day may qualify, or no one at all.  They added that usually at least one or two people get in at each exam. 

Anywho, to jump to the chase, I received a letter at my parents' house today.  My mom opened it and informed me that I got in.  Woot.  They don't tell you what your score was, only that you qualified or didn't qualify.  Then they ask for money.  Natch.  Resume builder!

Preparedness

Preparedness is a concept that I have been thinking about a lot lately, especially with all of the recent uncontrollable natural disasters.  The most important question is simply, "Are you prepared?"  however the other side of that question is, "What is preparedness?"

I am attempting to separate out the various arenas of preparedness.  I am not talking about being prepared for slight changes in the weather, or being prepared for a job interview.  I am mostly talking about survivalism in the face of sudden catastrophic disaster.  Something along the lines of a nuclear war, I suppose.  In this instance, there are a few key areas that I think I should consider, and maybe try to improve on.

Mental Acuity
Strength
Endurance
Orienteering
General Usable Skills
Hunting/Trapping
Cooking
Water

So let's just start at the top, and try to describe each one.  Then, I will try to come up with a series of questions that should give you an idea of where you fall in the spectrum of preparedness, as observed by myself.  I am not talking about becoming the ultimate warrior, so most of the markers that I am creating are applicable to both men and women.

Mental Acuity
This is your ability to analyze a situation and come to a logical and rational conclusion.  You don't need to be trained in most areas of survivalism if you are just a generally sharp person who can use rules of science and logic to figure out a problem.  Additionally, this also encompasses your ability to keep a calm head during times of extreme distress.  If you lose it, and start acting like a fool, you will certainly die.
Can you use science and rational thinking to examine a situation?

 Strength
Quite frankly, strength will be extremely necessary if you find yourself suddenly thrust into the wilderness.  There may be situations in which you have to be able to pull yourself up off of a cliff.  Or maybe a boulder has rolled on to a companion, and you need to be able to move it.  Now, some lack of strength can be offset by intelligence (lever and pulley systems), but there may still be situations in which you have to act immediately and with great strength.
Can you do 15 chin ups?
Can you lift a two foot diameter boulder off of the ground?
Can you press at least 135 pounds over head? 


Endurance
This would be the other half of the athletic spectrum.  All the strength in the world will prove itself quickly useless if you suddenly need to run far and fast.  I think that this domain is obvious, as many natural predators may be willing to chase you for more than a mile.  Additionally, in the event of something like an erupting volcano, you may just need to flee.  I suppose it is true that if a predator that is wildly faster than you (think cheetah) is coming upon you, you're sort of screwed.  But if you're being chased by a group of roving cannibals or something, you may stand a chance if you can respond affirmatively to the following questions.
Can you run 6 miles without stopping?
Can you run 6 miles without water?
Can you climb a 30 foot rock face?
bonus: Can you run 100 meters in under 15 seconds?

Orienteering
Orienteering is really the ability to use a map and a compass to determine your location and a route to get where you want to go.  In the case of a sudden disaster though, I assume that you won't have a local map and a compass on you, so this is more about the ability to use geographic landmarks and astronomical figures to determine your bearing and present location.
Can you draw a rough topographical map of everything within sight?

General Usable Skills
This encompasses all areas of survivalism that you ought to know beforehand, instead of trying to figure out on the fly with your mental acuity.  Things such as how to use available materials to braid a rope, how to create an arrow head, and how to carve a spear using rocks.  In the event of complete societal collapse, this may expand to include simple things such as how to build a chair, or dig a latrine.
Can you braid a 15 foot rope using grass and plants?
Can you create a temporary shelter using found wood?

Hunting/Trapping
This one is pretty obvious.  If you find yourself living in wilderness, you'll need to be able to acquire food.  You can get by for a while by foraging berries and edible plants (although, if you don't know how to choose edible plants, you can get yourself in trouble quickly), but eventually you will need to hunt or trap some game.  Some of the other areas come in to play here as well, as you will probably need a spear or boomerang type thing in order to hunt.
Can you track game?
Can you accurately throw a boomerang device?
Can you create a trap for small game?


Cooking
If you manage to capture yourself an animal, do you know how to make it ready to eat?  Some of cooking will depend on the availability of water.  In the greater Phoenix-Tucson area, you can mostly assume that you won't have a great supply of water, so you'll have to cook everything on fire (instead of boiling).
Can you gut and dress an animal?
Can you build a fire using natural materials?

Water
Without water, you will die.  Relatively quickly, too.  There is a certain art to finding water in the desert, or maybe even in a place like a tropical island.  On an island that gets rain, but does not have any real lakes or rivers, you  will have to look first for plants that are designed to capture rain water in their leaves.  If you can't find that, then you better know how to convert salt water to fresh water without the benefit of fire (assuming you don't know how to make a fire, or don't have a vessel to boil water in).  There is a cool distilling method that involves one large tub with salt water, a small cup standing up in the middle of that water, and then a plastic sheet over the top of all of that with a small rock directly over the cup.  You end up creating a very humid type atmosphere inside, and fresh water will condense on the ceiling plastic.  Then, it will congregate and roll in towards the middle (due to the weight of the rock), and ultimately will drip in to the cup in the middle.  Additionally, if the island gets rain, you can use certain obvious capture methods (mental acuity comes into play again).  In the desert, finding water is significantly more difficult, and requires some basic common sense.  The only hint I'll give you is you find a wash.  After that, you're either going to be hiking forever, or digging forever.  Your choice.  There are also a certain few plants that can save you from immediate lack of water death, but I wouldn't count on them as a major source of water supply.
Can you find or make water?

More later...

Cats

Nuit Blanche

Excellent.

Thanks a LOT, Adam!

Slightly less homeless

Here are the main players in this:

The Advocate - Real Estate Agent/Brother's Girlfriend
Seller - Current Leaseholder of Sheridan House
The Bank - The bank that granted the mortgage to Seller.  The literal owner of the house, as well.
Me - Me
The Agent - Listing Agent on Behalf of Seller, and ultimately, The Bank
The House - The property in question

So what happens is that Seller bought The House a few years back for some amount - let's just say $200k - and The Bank issues a mortgage for that amount in the name of Seller.  Seller now "owns" The House, although The Bank is the entity that literally purchased the property.  I think that this doesn't really need to be explained.  I'm pretty sure that most people know how loans work.

Anywho, then the market tanked, and this previously $200k house is suddenly worth $75k approximately.  Seeing as how Seller intended this to be an investment, Seller is suddenly in a bad place.  Upside down.  Underwater (owes more than what The House is actually worth). 

The Agent comes in then and says, "Well, I will put the place up on the market at current market value, collect offers, and take them to The Bank, and then you ask if they will accept the new sale price in place of what you currently owe.  Normally, The Bank would not be too keen on accepting 37.5 cents on the dollar, but if the other alternative is having to foreclose on the property and sell it as-is, they may be willing to just sell it at current value and let you, Seller, out of a sticky situation."  Seller agrees, because Seller is just losing money every month.  Seller cannot even pay his mortgage by renting The House out, since his mortgage payment is more than what he can rent the place out for!

The Advocate and Me then look at The House and decide that Me loves it, and wants it.  The House is listed at $75k, so Me offers $89k with $4k going towards closing, ultimately offering The Bank $85k.

The process is that The Advocate and Me submit an offer to The Agent, who then presents it to Seller (along with other offers proffered in the acceptable time period).  Seller then selects an offer (in this case, Seller has accepted Me's offer...in real life...dude accept my offer!), and then The Agent and Seller present it to The Bank and ask for mercy.

Now, at this point in the story, Me and The Advocate sit around and wait forever until The Bank decides that it would be in everybody's best interest to accept Me's offer.







Waiting...


In the meantime, I'm going to move in to my brother's house, and save a ton of money for the next few months. 

Housing housing homeless

Just put my second offer in (the first one didn't fly/lost it to someone else).  

$85,000

Coronado

Our current lease is up at the end of February...no plan yet.

T Shirt War

The Greatest Dance Number Ever Filmed

Keyboard Dog

Monkey King

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPN3gLVDsOY

Man draws NYC from memory.

http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/man-draws-nyc-from-memory/ufa7rdhx?from=sharepermalink

Walrus Sucks Own Dick

I only posted this because the title made me literally lol, and also because his dick is kind of ridiculous.  Enjoy.

Self Potato

Bear.