Secret Lover pt something II

We ate at CPK
Got bad tea
Watched Juno
I recorded with Mike
I will post the song when I figure out how to embed mp3s
Bigger entry later
nightie night

Something less serious, more gratuitous

So here is the best part of the most famous Halloween episode of 7th Heaven. The part where Jessica Biel dances around the house in a shirt and panties (actually, the insinuate that she is not wearing any panties, because when she gets in the bath they only show her shirt hit the floor). I'm not ONLY posting this to exploit people searching Google for various things jessica biel, but also because I remember this episode vividly. This was when I OFFICIALLY switched allegiances from that Lucy chick to jessica biel's character, whatever her name was (at the time of this airing, I was closer in age to Lucy than to biel's character, so it wasn't pervy). Oh, and note to girls: shirt and panties is the hottest possible combination ever, even if the shirt is ridiculous, or maybe especially if it is. Oh, and by the way, is the weird pumpkin carver played by Stephen Seagal?

Secret Lover pt something

I'm going to the movies with Secret Lover tonight. We are going to see Juno, which I've already seen (but she doesn't know that). So the plan is that I will pick her up from her place and we are going to go eat or drink or something before the movie. Then, after the movie, we're going back to her house and I'm going to record a song with Mike, her live-in boyfriend. He is majoring in electronic music and music production so he has some decent equipment, and he actually knows how to use it. I'm going to be trying to finish this song, but if I can't came to a close on it, I'll just cover something. Any suggestions on what I might cover?

"dirt and water salvation" by Me

desperate petals
float on gentle winds
please find their stems

roses frozen in snow
outline porcelain repose
don't think anybody knows

the earth breaths him in
dirt and water; salvation
set free by his sin
can we do this all over again?

did anybody hear
secret cries for help?

did anybody smell
skin melting away?

the earth breaths him in
dirt and water; salvation
set free by his sin
can we do this all over again?

Her Legs Grow

This next weekend is the Half Marathon. That's 13.1 miles through Phoenix and a little bit of Tempe. This post isn't really about running, though. It's about Julee.

I spoke to her on the phone this morning about how we're going to work this weekend out. The expo is on Saturday, and that is where you go to get all final registration stuff and race number and all that. There are also vendor booths and free stuff and whatnot. It's a lot of fun, actually. I went with her last year when she ran the full marathon, and we said that we'll go together this year since parking is a bitch and we're both doing it anyways. So that's Saturday. I think that on Sunday we'll probably drive to the race together, too.

Speaking to her on the phone is weird, still. I mean, it's hard for me to deny that I still have feelings for her. She is perhaps THE most intelligent girl that I've ever known (sorry Ash and others), which is tremendously appealing to me. I recently had a conversation with Ambuler about how it's hard for me to find girls that I can really talk to (I can listen to anyone, but it's hard to find someone who can actually listen back). Now, those of you who have been around for a year or more may remember that I became disconcerted by the fact that I didn't talk to Julee. Paul died, and I didn't call my girlfriend. I called someone else. I felt like I couldn't speak to her about stuff like that. Now that we're just friends though, I am able to talk to her about more things, so it's like the one MAJOR issue in the relationship has been worked out. That makes it difficult for me for what I would think are obvious reasons.

It is sort of evident to me that she has the same problems with guys that I have with girls. She cannot find guys who are smart enough to talk to her and listen to her. She knows though that I am that guy. That's why she wants us to remain friends, I think. So that she has more than just girls in her life, because she doesn't even really like girls, I don't think.

Is it arrogant to assume that she still harbors secret feelings for me? If she holds valuable the same things that she used to, then there is no way that she doesn't. Or is that the flaw of the ex? To always assume that they are still wanted? Hmmm.

So anyways, here're the main points:

1) Julee and I are essentially spending the whole weekend together
2) We will be in more or less vulnerable/embarrassing situations that generally render one overly emotional
3) I obviously still have feelings for her
4) Am I afraid of the word "love"?
5) I am worried that she'll ask me to get back with her or something after the race
6) Aren't these the same things that I wondered about when we met for coffee months ago?
7) I wonder if I'm somehow thinking with the wrong part of my body (head vs heart, you perverts)?


I guess I don't really know what the hell is going on. Oh, and just to add to her litany of confusing actions, Duffy rolled her eyes in frustration when she walked in on me talking to Ambuler about hanging out with Julee this weekend.

I think that I'd like to hook up with one or two girls at least before getting seriously considering getting back with Juju. I mean, if I didn't, then this whole time off would have been a stupid pointless lie. Someone stop me.

I think that honestly if I manage to get back into shape, I will want her less. Does that make sense? I am also making the possibly erroneous assumption that after I lost some weight I'll be better able to meet other girls, so that must be related somehow. I don't know, like I said, someone stop me.

"Your Legs Grow" by Nada Surf

If you were here
baby we'd increase the dose
there was no fear
in my room when we got close
call me anytime you've got a ghost

you're the only person in the world
i feel that way about
and if you move off to the side
i'll get swept back out
where it's cold but not that deep
cuz your legs grow
cold but not that deep
cuz your legs grow

there's a light that rises up
from the bottom of the lake
and its beam has hit me hard
now i'm wide awake
where it's cold but not that deep
cuz your legs grow
cold but not that deep
cuz your legs grow

if you were here
baby we'd increase the dose
there was no fear
in my room when we got close
call me anytime you've got a ghost