One Night In Lemonade

Let's skip the stage setting.

The plan was for me to bring the wine, and Lemon would supply the seating and TV.  I grabbed a bottle and headed to her apartment.  I brought with me the first seasons of The Office, Arrested Development, and Curb Your Enthusiasm.  It turned out that she had seen all of them except for Arrested Development, so we went with that.  We went through that first bottle pretty quickly.  A $12 cab sauv on sale from Bevmo!  We ran across the street to Total Wine and bought a Malbec and a Riesling.  We somehow drank through both of those, too.  Here is where things sort of get fuzzy.

I remember poking the top of her head and discovering she was asleep.

I think that I then went to the bathroom.

I came back, and I remember making the actual decision to sleep on the floor.  I felt like it would be creepy to crawl into her bed (we were sitting on her bed watching the show).

I was laying face down on her ridiculously uncomfortable and cold carpet when she woke me up, and said, "Just get in the bed, retard!" (she had presumably said a bunch of stuff before that that I do not recall).  I guess that I responded with a slightly agitated "NO" and something about how I like to do things the hard way.

I woke up again later from pre-hypothermia.  I stood up and thought to myself, "well maybe I'll just drive home then, since I have to work tomorrow."  However, as soon as I did this, I discovered my inability to walk.  I was still rather smashed.  So I went to the bathroom and drank some sink water.

I walked in to the living room and laid on the couch.  I remember trying to use the tiny throw blanket, but discovering that it was about as big as a towel.  I also remember looking at the decorative throw pillow and thinking to myself, "Okay, so this side is plain brown like the couch.  This side is all decorative and weird with gold lacing and stuff.  I should use the fancy side in case I drool, that way they won't be able to see it."

I woke up a few times to random noises, and I found out later that one of the noises was drunk Lemon trying to find me, but not seeing me on the couch.

I'd just like to reiterate that I was so drunk that I refused to get in to bed with Lemon.

I woke up for reals, snaked some mouthwash and made my way home, then to work.

I also drunk texted Leslie some choice things.  Fun times.