Visions of greatness

I can see myself doing things. Great things. Actually, usually things so great that they are hard for most other to envision themselves doing. Completing an Ironman. Running 100 miles. Curing cancer. My photo on the covers of magazines. Being remembered, and for good reason. I sometimes get embarrassed about it. Sometimes though, I am excited about it. Does that make me selfish? Are these visions of the future, or just the dreams of a hopeless man? Does everyone have these images? Do people only have images of things within their reach? Does the two digit IQ working as a checkout girl really see herself being internationally loved? Is the 57 year old man with dental problems riding on top of that tractor up the road just waiting for his big break? Do people know their limitations? What about the person who has been told that he has no limitation? My dad once told me that he wasn't worried about me. He was confident that no matter what I chose to do, I'd be successful to the highest degree. He told me this in the middle of me worrying about choosing a major and a life path. It ended the conversation. I wonder if he is right. I wonder if there is anything that I cannot do. Is this arrogance? If I completely dedicated myself to any one thing would I be the world's best at that thing? If I decide that I am only here to end cancer or AIDs or something, does that mean that I'm actually going to cure those things? Is it really just a matter of me deciding where to point myself? And what happens if I'm wrong? If I dedicate my life to curing cancer, and then I don't, does my existence justify itself or not? Is there a failure of life? I wonder these things while I sit here thinking about what I'll say to GQ in my interview after I win the nobel. Will I call them out for their consumerist stances? Should I only grant interviews to Adbusters and other grassroots and cause-based publications? Hard questions to answer.

I'm off for a run.